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The Fossil Record

by The Amoeba People

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1.
Deep time--what's it really all about? Is it even something we can know about? How deep can you dig into history? The deeper you go, the deeper the mystery You can give it a name like Precambrian Time But that's 4 billion years on a very long timeline Magma to granite Sandstone to quartzite Limestone to marble And shale into slate (chorus) Can you take me back when the Earth was newly spinning? Can you take me back, back, back, back to the beginning? Can you take me back when the Earth was newly spinning? Can you take me back, back, back, back to the beginning? Time is marching on On and on and on (no stopping, no stopping, you just can't stop it!) Time is marching on On and on and on Precambrian Time, mysterious, primeval A time of great geologic upheaval Primitive life in a shifting landscape Try to comprehend it, it's enough to make you go ape Magma to granite Sandstone to quartzite Limestone to marble And shale into slate (repeat chorus) instrumental The Precambrian! Comprising seven-eights of Earth's history! (repeat chorus) From Precambrian to the Paleozoic From the Mesozoic to the Cenozoic! From Precambrian to the Paleozoic From the Mesozoic to the Cenozoic! From Precambrian to the Paleozoic From the Mesozoic to the Cenozoic! From Precambrian to the Paleozoic From the Mesozoic to the Cenozoic! Time is marching on . . .
2.
Archaeopteryx, Giriffitan, Seismosaurus, Stegasaurus Brachiosaurus, Megalosaurus, Dilophosaurus, Plateosaurus, Cetiosaurus, Patagosaurus, Saltopus, Aardonyx, Hypsilophodon We are the terrible lizards Wiped out by a post-asteroid blizzard We are the terrible lizards Fossilized bones put back together Supersaurus, Triceratops, Velociraptor, Gallimimus, Ankylosaurus, Tyrannosaurus, Gilmoreosaurus, Graciloceratops, Lambeosaurus, Dromeosaurus, Baronyx, Dracorex, Minmi, Kakuru We are the terrible lizards Wiped out by a post-asteroid blizzard We are the terrible lizards Fossilized bones put back together Coloradosaurus, Amygdalodon, Apatasaurus, Bambiraptor, Irritator, Protoceratops, Gargoylosaurus, Harpymimus, Allosaurus, Gigantosaurus, CHIALINGASAURUS! We are the terrible lizards . . . wiped out . . .
3.
Volcano! 03:20
Volcano! Volcano! Volcano! Hey! In the year 79 AD Mt. Vesuvius erupted Burying the nearby cities Of Herculaneum and Pompeii In a layer of hot, scalding, ash and rock Known as a pyroclastic flow Nearly two thousand years After the eruption The preserved remains Of the inhabitants of Pompeii Were discovered and excavated A terrifying reminder Of the volcano's awesome strength Volcano! Volcano! Volcano! 1883, Krakatau, Indonesia One of the loudest Volcanic eruptions ever recorded With an eruption loud enough To be heard 3,000 miles away, It resulted in a tsunami so large, More than 30,000 people perished As a result Another sobering reminder Of the volcano's awesome strength! Volcano! Volcano! Volcano!
4.
Chicxulub 02:32
Chicxulub, there is a crater down in Chicxulub Don’t be a hater, brother, don’t be rude It’s only Chixculub Chicxulub, there is a crater down in Chicxulub One hundred million megatons of doom Came down with a boom Oh, it happened in the late Cretaceous And it’s impact was bodaceous When that asteroid hit Oh, a giant fireball lit up the sky Oceans boiled and the creatures fried And there was nowhere to hide Megatsunamis scrubbed clean every shore in the vicinity of the impact site! It was unlike anything those dinosaurs had ever see, Uh-huh Chicxulub, what a disaster, brother Chicxulub, destructive like no other Chicxulub, oh what a bummer it was Chicxulub, apocalyptic it was Chicxulub, nothing cryptic Just a crash and boom And then planet-wide doom Oh, yes it slammed into the Yucatan Which became a giant frying pan Cooking the atmosphere Oh, a cloud of CO2 blocked out the Sun Ash and fire rained on everyone And there was nowhere to run The only survivors were those who could dig or dive to the depth of the sea A dubious distinction that was caused by mass extinction In that fiery global foundry call the K-Pg boundary Where the dinosaurs they will dine no more, yeah, uh-huh Chicxulub, there is a crater down in Chicxulub Don’t be a hater, brother, don’t be rude It’s only Chicxulub Chicxulub, it seems so docile down in Chicxulub Nothing but fossils now are left of those creatures long gone Forever those creatures are gone! (repeat)
5.
Girl Talk 03:31
Last name Tharp, first name Marie With an expertise in cartography Got a job mapping the ocean floor Using sonar data from the second World War But she needed new data to complete her map So they loaded up a research vessel ASAP They sailed out on the sea But they didn’t bring along Marie They didn’t let women on the research vessel So with map-making tools Marie did wrestle She showed it to her colleague Bruce Heezen He said, Marie, you got no rhyme or reason. She caused a commotion When she said there was a rift valley at the bottom of the ocean Girl Talk! That’s what the man said, yeah, that’s what the man said, he called it Girl Talk! Rejected like that, in two seconds flat, he called it Girl Talk! A valley with a rift implies continental drift There ain’t no place science For your stubborn reliance on that Girl Talk! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! So Marie went back to the drawing board Literally, she had a drawing board She checked her map, she checked it twice To be triple sure, she checked it thrice She took it back and showed it to Bruce And this time he called a truce He shook his head and said Marie Marie I think I owe you an apology Your map is right, yes I must admit But I’m worried that this map implies Continental Drift They published it anyway Even though the scientists were bound to say T’aint nothin’ but Girl Talk! That’s what the men said, yeah that’s what the men said they called it Girl Talk! Rejected like that, in two seconds flat, they called it Girl Talk! A valley with a rift implies Continental Drift There ain’t no place in science for your Stubborn reliance on that Girl Talk! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Still one man was intrigued He was a well known scientific celebrity Jacques Cousteau was his name Undersea exploration was his kind of game He said, Huh huh hee hee, I’ll go under the sea I’ll be sure to take Marie’s map with me I’ll film it for the whole world to see And settle this bubbling controversy Sacre Bleu, how can it be? Everything’s where Marie said it would be! The rift valley, every mountain peak It’s enough to make a man’s knees grow weak It caused a revolution Marie Tharp’s girl talk was the solution Girl Talk! That’s what the man said, yeah that’s what the man said, he called it Girl Talk! With photographic proof, they learned the truth Girl Talk! A valley with a rift proved continental drift She changed modern science With her stubborn reliance on that girl talk Girl Talk! Girl Talk! Girl Talk!
6.
Dinosaur bones In the dinosaur hall Might blow your mind, MIght make you feel small But if you try to write us off Just because we're extinct Let me drop a little thought That might make you rethink You might think you’re big now Look at how you rule the Earth But it just takes an asteroid To really show you what you’re worth now (chorus) Triassic, Jurassic, Cretaceous Don’t matter where you place us Triassic, Jurassic, Cretaceous Our timeline is spacious Bones in a museum might look stoic But we’re still rockin' Rockin' the Mesozoic Try to wrap your head around The mesozoic era No you can’t, no you can’t So let me be clearer 150 million years Compared to you Is like a molecule of water In an double-wide pool You might think you’re big now Look at how you rule the Earth But it just takes an asteroid To really show you what you’re worth now Triassic, Jurassic, Cretaceous Don’t matter where you place us Triassic, Jurassic, Cretaceous Our timeline is spacious Bones in a museum might look stoic But we’re still rockin' Rockin' the Mesozoic Dinosaur bones In the dinosaur hall And a comparison chart To make you really feel small
7.
Out in Hawaii Where the lava freely flows Out of the tops of the volcanoes When the lava cools off You know it hardens into rock That's how it goes That's how it flows Out in Hawaii Where the lava freely flows Out of the tops of the volcanoes They do the aa aa pahoehoe lava rock walk Hey, don't knock it till you try it, my friend Aa aa is really sharp and jagged And it hurts when you walk in bare feet When the lava's really viscous It's an indication this is gonna make some sharp rock Owwee Pahoehoe forms when lava's swiftly flowing It's billowy and pillowy too It's smooth and undulating Just like hair before a braiding And when you walk in bare feet Ah ah, ooh ooh
8.
300 million years ago Before the great landmass began to break and flow The continents all were together But it’s like they say, nothing lasts forever After 150 million years had passed Pangaea began to break apart at last It broke into two large pieces of land One was Laurasia and the other Gondwanaland (chorus) Singing so long, it’d be so good to see ya But you’re long gone, goodbye Pangaea You had your fun and you played your part But now the time has come for you to drift apart Singing so long, goodbye Pangaea Plates were shifting, mountains were lifting The pieces got smaller and they kept on drifting Shifting boundaries, crumpling layers India hit Asia and formed the Himalayas (chorus) After many years of drifting and grinding The continents moved to where you now find em But if you think we’re done with our driftin days This is a just a stop along the way (chorus)
9.
Hey Farmer Hutton Well you hit it on the button On the button, Farmer Hutton Aye, ye did! You had the gritty gumption To declare the brass assumption That the age of planet Earth In rocks is hid Who's the one who sells the shells The shells she found down by the shore? She's the one who sells the shells Yes, she's the sea shell seller of lore You'd know her better if they had let her Enroll at Oxford or Cambridge perhaps But this sea sheller wasn't a feller And therefore she couldn't attend with the chaps
10.
Coprolites 02:05
Coprolites, coprolites Fossilized waste products from a distant time And when I die I hope I leave behind A legacy like the one that fell from that dino's behind What is there to do? When your poo outlasts you? It's humbling to say the least When all that's left of the beast Are the remnants of the feast
11.
Heigh Ho! Grand Canyon! Heigh Ho! Heigh Ho! Grand Canyon! Heigh Ho! Oh, the Colorado River Flows down, down Through northern Arizona Carving down through the sandstone Descending one mile deep Into the fossil record Revealing Earth's natural history In sedimentary layers The world has rarely seen A journey into a lost time And adventure down Through nature's time machine (chorus) Millions of years ago In a lost time The Colorado Plateau Began to slowly rise And it changed the grade Of the river And the canyon it carved Began to grown in size (chorus) Long before cars could drive there Before tourists could survive there The Hopi called in Ongtupqa A kind of sacred place Let me explain it to ya Whether rich or poor or a scholar A reminder how small we all are When the sun shines down in the moring Makes that mule train ride Makes those park rangers sing (chorus)
12.
I’m a geophysicist, She’s a geophysicist, And everybody at this meeting’s Also on the geo-list. It takes a lot of disciplines To reconstruct the past ‘Cause the timescale that we’re dealing with Is infinitely vast. I was just about to call This conference here to order When the volcanologist Pulled out a little tape recorder. He said, “I’m just about to get A groovin’ and a rhyming. To a volcanologist, you know, It’s all about the timing.” The paleoclimatologist Raised an objection: “The climate of this talk is moving in the wrong direction!” “Don’t make me lose my apatite,” Said the mineralogist. “My stomach’s moving left to right!” Said the seismologist. “I’m shifting in my seat,” Said the plate tectonicist. “When do we eat?” Said the biogeochemist. “Can you please . . . slow . . . down . . .” Said the glaciologist. “Everybody settle down!” Cried the sedimentologist. I could see this conference Was dissolving into chaos. At any moment this could be A full-blow San Andreas. So I reached for the nearest thing That garnered my attention, And lifting high a glass I addressed the whole convention: “Everybody grab a cup And let’s propose a toast, ‘Cause the planet that we live on Is our planetary host. We all have different disciplines There is no right or wrong. I want to hear you clink those mugs And hear you chant along! I’m a geophysicist, She’s a geophysicist, And everybody at this meeting’s Also on the geo-list. It takes a lot of disciplines To reconstruct the past ‘Cause the timescale that we’re dealing with Is infinitely vast.”
13.
T’was a cold December morning back in 1898. A brave young fossil hunter was a’ pondering his fate, When he heard there was a ship that was about to leave the dock. There was room for him if he could somehow beat the clock. A scientific expedition was about the raise it’s sail And this young fossil hunter knew he couldn’t drag his tail. It was bound for Patagonia, a place without renown, But the fossils that were rumored seemed to call to Barnum Brown. Patagonia proved brutal and his spirits quickly fell And the outcome of the journey not a single soul could tell. The digs were hard, there seemed to be no fossils to be found But Barnum was convinced somewhere they’d find that hallowed ground. He felt if he could take a boat just up the coast a bit He’d find those fossils with determination and some grit. The others in the expedition countered with a scoff. “You’d be a fool to sail away alone and venture off!” Early that next morning Barnum struck out his own But his tiny boat soon crashed and he was weary and alone. Somehow he made it through and found his way back to his mates. They were not too pleased that he had tampered with the fates. They called to him across the waves and helped him to the shore. And found that in his boat he carried fossils by the score! A bold and daring lad he was which soon brought him renown. And soon all fossil hunters knew the name of Barnum Brown. It was only two years later that he blew everyone’s minds The world by then was quite abuzz with ancient fossil finds In the Badlands of Wyoming lurked a hidden fossil trove Buried like a treasure deep within a pirate’s cove Barnum wiped his brow as his crew looked on in shock. They found frightful skeleton embedded in the rock. It’s massive teeth and giant head were fearful to behold Barnum felt a shiver as the wind blew hard and cold. He lifted up a knife-like tooth and held it in his hand. To think this deadly creature once had roamed across the land. In ancient time this monster terrorized its helpless pray But its fossils were the only thing that Barnum found that day. It’s name became synonymous with nature pure and raw. Tyrannosaurus rex the name that still inspires awe. But there’s another name that deserves it’s own renown The greatest of all fossil hunters—that was Barnum Brown.
14.
1. MEANDERING RIVER Meandering river You roll on down the plain Eroding and unloading The rocks that you find Until you make an oxbow lake You know where you’re going Where gravity’s inclined Just look at all the wonders That you leave behind Meandering river and time 2. EMPTY TENTS IN THE VALLEY Empty tents in the valley Where did those geologists go? Are they up on the cliff? Or down in the schist? Or floating in that river below? Empty tents in the valley Where did those geologists go? Empty tents in the valley We may never, ever know 3. MY DARLING TALUS SLOPE There once was a girl that I courted And I called her my talus slope I thought she was my one true love But she left me and called me a dope There once was a girl that he courted And he called her his clastic wedge But his geologic term of endearment Finally sent her over the edge 4. DIG IT DIG IT DEEP (THE BATHOLITH SONG) You gotta dig it dig it deep (dig it dig it deep) Dig it down to the pith (dig it down to the pith) If you wanna get down (if you wanna get down) To the batholith (to the batholith) It’s like a giant blimp (like a giant blimp) In the crust of the planet (in the crust of the planet) But you’ve never seen a blimp (you’ve never seen a blimp) Made of rock solid granite (rock solid granite) You gotta dig it dig it deep, etc. 5. THE OUTCROP IN THE SKY When our earthly time has run And we face life’s setting sun We’re rollin’ to the outcrop in the sky We might erode or crystallize Or subduct and orogenize Or just roll on to the outcrop in the sky 6. MIGHTY FINE HAMMER Well it’s a mighty fine hammer Ringing through the canyon It’s a mighty fine hammer Ringin’ cross the land It’s a mighty fine hammer Ringing from the mountain Ringing out to every Woman, child and man No, we’re not going home! No, we won’t be moved! We’ll keep chippin’ away We’ve got something to prove No, we won’t be satisfied! We’ll hammer round the clock Until we learn that mineral Composition of the rock!

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released May 10, 2019

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The Amoeba People Lakewood, California

The Amoeba People are musical ambassadors from the Planet Crouton, here to learn about our world, to unravel the wonders of its natural history, to study the life which inhabits it and to parse the mysteries of the human species by learning its dance moves. The band consists of Mr. Hedgpeth (captain), Mr. Jordan (navigator), and Mr. Mosley (engineer and technician). ... more

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