The Complicated Saga of Eggnog and Yule Log

by The Amoeba People

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1.
02:30
2.
3.
4.
03:10

credits

released November 22, 2011

Mr. Mosley: vocals, voices, bass, keyboards
Mr. Jordan: vocals, voices, drums, percussion
Mr. Hedgpeth: vocals, voices, guitars, keyboards

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The Amoeba People Lakewood, California

The Amoeba People are musical ambassadors from the Planet Crouton, here to learn about our world, to unravel the wonders of its natural history, to study the life which inhabits it and to parse the mysteries of the human species by learning its dance moves. The band consists of Mr. Hedgpeth (captain), Mr. Jordan (navigator), and Mr. Mosley (engineer and technician). ... more

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Track Name: Uncle Pat
My old Uncle Pat, he wasn’t Irish
But he spoke with an accent anyway
He said he got it in the boxing rings of Dublin
But in Ireland he never spent a day

Every Christmas he would fill himself with eggnog
And gather all the children to his side
And he’d tell us how he lost his leg in battle
And how an Irish soldier never lied

(chorus)
Uncle Pat, Uncle Pat tell a story
About the grand adventures you have had
There be one-legged dances for the lassies
And one more round of eggnog for the lads

He told us how he lost his leg in battle
When his ship was blown to bits at sea
There were many bodies floating in the water
And the only fellow that survived was he

He floated on some driftwood to an island
And nearly died on that forsaken shore
But dissenting voices calling from the kitchen
Say, “Your Uncle Pat was never in the war!”

(chorus)

On the day he was finally rescued
A flying saucer carried him away
And they told him of their plans for domination
And how the human race was going to pay

But Pat took a stand against them aliens
With a one-legged dropkick to the face
And he sent them whimpering back to their home planet
And consequently saved the human race

(chorus)
Track Name: Eight Nights of Bowling
(chorus)
Eight nights of bowling
Eight nights of bowling
Eight nights of bowling
Eight nights of bowling
Eight nights of bowling
Eight nights of bowling
Eight nights of bowling
Ten pins, eight nights
You know it’s really out of sight

All the people in the alley be parting like the Red Sea
They know Captain Moishe comes packing heat
When we start to roll, the pins go down
Then Rabbi Herschel dances to that kosher sound

(chorus)

A 300 score denotes another chosen victory
Chaim generates some more goyim antipathy
Wasting the pins in his rabbinical fashion
Looking at the score opponents’ faces be ashen

(chorus)

Like a Judaic lion I smite every pin
If you look real close you’ll see my yarmulke spin
It’s not just dreidles going round and round
Watch my three-holed bullet knock the pins to the ground!

(chorus)
Track Name: The Complicated Saga of Eggnog and Yule Log
Said Eggnog to Yule Log,
“Let’s go play leapfrog!
It’s Christmas Eve,
Let’s be friends tonight!”

Said Yule Log to Eggnog,
“I’m through with this dialogue!
We can’t be friends,
Put up your dukes and fight!”

And all the little chocolate Santas
And holiday treats gathered round
Singing, “Eggnog show him what you’ve got!
Knock him to the ground!”

Said Eggnog, “I don’t want to fight him.
Like me, he’s a seasonal item.
In a day or two we’ll both be gone;
Can’t we get along?”

Said Eggnog to Yule Log,
“Let’s go play leapfrog!
It’s Christmas Eve,
Let’s call a truce tonight!”
Track Name: Omaha
Well there ain’t no snow on Hollywood and Vine
Stars are on the ground but there’s nothing in the sky
But on the banks of the Missouri River . . .

Uh Uh O, Uh Uh O,
Uh Uh O, Uh Uh Omaha
Snow, see the snow,
See the snow as it swiftly falls
Glow, feel the glow, feel the glow
Feel the houses all aglow

There’s a wreath on each door
And a wreath is a circle
And a circle is unbroken
And the unbroken circle makes an O
An O, An O-O-O-O-O
An O, An O, An O-O-O-O-O-O
And the O is for Omaha
That’s where the streets wear
A beautiful blanket made of snow

O, Uh Uh O, Uh Uh O, Uh Uh Omaha
Snow, see the snow,
See the snow as it swiftly falls
Glow, feel the glow, feel the glow
Feel the houses all aglow

(solo)

O-M-A-H-A Omaha!
That’s right!
O-M-A-H-A Omaha!
Christmas night!

Omaha on Christmas
Omaha on Christmas
Omaha on Christmas night!